I am fed up with feeling so shit all the time. My current weight causes me a lot of anxiety and depression. I’m either depressed because I don’t look the way I used to or anxious because I worry how I will be perceived.
My negative feelings towards myself have been a main driving force towards my situation in life. My lack of love life is one of them. My motivation to be more social being a second and thirdly staying in my comfort zone.
I have always struggled with my weight from a young age, but the more I look back the more I realise I can’t use my past as an excuse not to deal with the present moment. My present moment is that of someone who doesn’t have the motivation or the willingness to accept change.
We all have demons. Mine being the monster of overindulging on foods and convincing myself that I’m not that bad. If I’m not that bad, why do I feel so bad? It’s because I ignore the reality of bad habits and choose to stay in my comfort zone.
For those who read this, they may think I’m being hard on myself. I am and that’s because I feel it’s time I ought to be. It’s a new type of being hard on myself though. This time it’s with love before it was with hate.
Hating yourself becomes a destructive habit. It usually begins when we are in situations that are based on others opinions, others negative opinions on ourselves can soon be inherited as our own beliefs. The negativity that’s planted manifests itself and we seek comfort from the world outside our heads. Be it drugs, sex, alcohol or food. Things don’t have to be this way.
Recognise the things you hate about yourself and attack them with love. Forgive yourself for the past that no longer exists and plant a new seed. That new seed is the seed of change. It will be hard if it was easy it wouldn’t be worth it. A new seed has been planted today and it’s called a better version of yourself.